After two rounds of IVF, I'm still not any better exercising the virtue of patience.
This post was originally written one day ago from a much more depressing vantage point. Today, though, after a whole lot of prayer and reflection I'm writing you the same facts from a different, more positive mindset.
So, here are the facts. Cramping like nothing I have ever experienced in my 33 years woke me up Saturday morning. It was following my a couple of blobs of pink tissue in the toilet that were definitely not blood clots.
After calling my clinic's emergency number, my doctor called me from her home at 7AM. She sent me to the emergency room for a possible miscarriage.
At the emergency room, we found my beta had doubled (close to tripled) in the last two days. During the ultrasound in the ER, the tech showed us one gestational sac and one yolk sac at 5w3d.
I was told by both doctors what had most likely just happened was that I had been pregnant with twins, but just lost one. Saturday night, I grabbed my laptop and wrote to my regular nurse, telling her the events of Saturday and asking for a beta early Monday morning.
I tried to prepared myself for a less than perfect beta if I did really lose a twin. That only makes sense, right? Early Monday I headed in for a 6th beta.
Remember that Saturday my beta was 9,088. Here's the letter I received from my nurse:
Your HCG is up to 10,488 and progesterone is still above 20. I know you were probably expecting HCG to be higher, but it really may be OK. Every lab is a little bit different. So if I go by your last HCG here of 3500, then doubling would be 14,000 today. It doesn't have to exactly double, it only has to rise by 50% every 48 hours. So your level is fine by those criteria. It can also rise a little slower if you truly did start with 2 implanting and only have 1 continuing.
So in summary, we just have to wait and see.
I'm used to betas doubling and nearly tripling. To have one barely increase absolutely sent me into worst case scenario mode. I'd be lying to say I was 100% out of it. And I'd be lying if I told you I didn't skip my PIO that night opting for Endometrin tablets instead.
The future?
I go in for my 7th beta tomorrow, Wednesday. And I am scheduled for an ultrasound Friday. I wonder if this little baby is miscarrying as well? Or will this baby pull out a miracle?
We just have to wait and see. And pray.
1st beta (8dp5dt) - 74
2nd beta (10dp5dt) - 177
3rd beta (14dp5dt) - 768
4th beta (17dp5dt) - 3,625
5th beta (19dp5dt) - 9,033
Emergency room - miscarriage of one twin
6th beta (21dp5dt) - 10, 488
4 comments:
Ugh, I'm sorry you're still having to be on this emotional rollercoaster. I bet this time is especially frustrating since it must feel like you've had to do an awful lot of waiting overall. At the very least, Friday is three days away - that's just three days until you can finally have some peace about your baby. My prayers are with you and your little one. ((HUGS))
Oh sweetie what a rollercoaster you are going through. I am so sorry to hear of all these ups and downs, I am sure you are living on pins and needles... I pray that today's beta will put your mind at ease and pray that your baby is growing strong and proving everyone wrong. Thinking of you xxx
lots of thoughts and prayers for you. I've been thinking about you all week. Hugs!
I'm so sorry that your going through this right now, the devil really is tryihng to get you down! But remember, you serve an AMAZING God who is capable of ANYTHING...He will hold you in His arms and I'll be praying for comfort, peace, and healing!!
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