Post California Update

Before I begin with the trip info or even updates on the baby, I am about to burst to say something.  It's actually something I've read three or four times on the blogs of people who are pregnant after IF.  I appreciated it then, and now I want to pass it along.

I still identify most with the people who are currently battling IF.  I hurt for them and still feel like one of them.  If you are reading this and have yet to become a mom, it's you that I think about over and over and over.  The place you're in now is original reason why we're all here. I was you just eight short weeks ago waiting on a beta number after 2 IVF's and seven lost embryos.  Just because my beta was positive does not mean I'm moving on from the IF mindset.  That might be the healthiest alternative, yes.  But you are my people.  And I love you.  The support available here is overflowing.

The truth is, though, we have received a gift. And yesterday, that precious little baby waved its arms at me on the ultrasound screen.  In a moment, every shot, every pill, every vag cam, every blood draw, and YES even the $53,000 we've spent out of pocket in eight months seemed to vanish.  Those little hands were saying, "See.  I told you I'd be worth it."  And they were.  My precious baby.

I wasn't supposed to go to the doctor yesterday. Unfortunately, I had a few bleeding occurrences in California and felt best about running in for a reassurance ultrasound.  Since losing the baby's twin 5 weeks ago, the OB is very sweet to let me come in for sanity's sake.  I really, really, REALLY like their office.  Can't say it enough.  They even told me to come in one week later just to reassure myself again.  They told me everything was perfect.  So, why are they offering so many scans? Well, I had just told them how I was headed back home to rent a Doppler.  They flipped!  They began to recount horror stories of girls showing up at the clinic horrified because they couldn't find a heartbeat while their baby was perfect all along.  The sonographer told me that I could come in as much as I wanted and just have a Doppler heartbeat check if I promised to not rent one.  This conversation, I could tell, was out of genuine concern.  So I obliged.  I have u/s scheduled for the next two weeks then they are scheduling Doppler appointments for me every week after that.  Hubs will like this because it's a major drop in cost!

As for California, it was glorious.  It was SO nice to need a jacket at night.  Here are a few pics from our time there. We flew in to the Bob Hope Airport in Burbank.  I highly recommend it.  LAX is just no fun sometimes and this smaller size is so laid back. 

While Hubs was at work in Glendale, I ventured to Pasadena, about ten minutes away.  I went to the Rose Bowl and walked through some of the beautiful neighborhoods surrounding the stadium. 

Saturday, we drove 2 1/2 hours to San Diego's Coronado Island.  We decided to spend most of our day at the Hotel del Coronado's beach. 

As any girly girl's luck would have it, a wedding was being set up on the lawn.

These were two huge lucite pillars stuffed with white orchids.

Several of these low boxes were lined up behind the chairs.

The programs were on sticks of bamboo to act as fans.  They were stuck down in seashells.

Do I need to say more?

Finally, this picture is a testament to the the great care God has taken with my life. 

This is me three years ago holding my only sibling's only baby. 

I remember specifically that I was on my lunch break and I drove 20 minutes just to get a baby fix for 2 minutes and then I'd have to return. 

Also, I'd still never met my husband. 

And here we are.

In just seven short months, this could be me all over again.

Thank you, Lord.